I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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