Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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