if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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