hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
