You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
