I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
