dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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