Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
