so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
