don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
