Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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