Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
