You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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