You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
