someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
