Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
