I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
