Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
