Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
