i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
