can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just cut my nipple shaving
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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