Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
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