We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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