She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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