Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Use "feeling words"
Yay
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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