who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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