it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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