You smell like stripper and shame
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
