Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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