Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
