I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize