We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wish there were birth control emojis
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize