Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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