just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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