Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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