so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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