i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
