Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
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I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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