the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
