I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
