i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
