he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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