sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
