508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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