we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
