At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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