Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
is it fun? or sober?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
