I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
