Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize