Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize