I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
