just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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