there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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