belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
