Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
