College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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