The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the condom got lost in my hair
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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