At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
