I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
