The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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