What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
