If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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