she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
