Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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