I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
