just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The power of my boobs compel you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
