This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
