if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
